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What Does A Life Coach Do?



Listen To The Podcast Version


The short answer is: You know how a personal trainer works with you to increase your physical strength and fitness to successfully achieve the goals you set for yourself? Well, a Life Coach works in much the same way, only on a more mental, emotional, sometimes spiritual, or perhaps in a career or relationship-orientated way.


Life Coaches work with you to increase and strengthen your clarity, productivity, work-life balance, stress management strategies, self-confidence and self-esteem levels, amongst other things. Life Coaches show you how you can change your thinking to change your reality. Winnie the Pooh famously said: "You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think", and this applies to you. Life Coaches work with you to pull away the veil of delusion from in front of your eyes, to reveal previously unrealised truths about you.


THE LONG ANSWER

So there's my short answer and if that's good enough for you then great, but if you'd like to get into the weeds, follow me! Whilst every life coaching session is unique, variable and flexible, here are six of the main ways in which my work as your Life Coach will help you.


1. Listening: This is a vastly underrated service we are all able to offer our friends and loved ones, but don't for a variety of reasons. The side effect of perhaps being surrounded by well meaning friends and loved ones, but otherwise feeling unheard, is a closing sense of isolation, fear, confusion and loneliness. Left unchecked, these feelings can develop into full blown depression and anxiety. By talking things through, by having to explain your thoughts and feelings out loud to a compassionate listening soul, you're often able to discover what you truly think, or how you truly feel.


Unexpressed thoughts and emotions have a nasty habit of compounding themselves into tight little snowballs, which then hurtle down the mountain growing in speed and magnitude, creating a heightened sense of fear and doom in you along the way. The thing is, once the massive snowball crashes at the bottom of the mountain, it smashes into its smaller and more manageable component parts, ready to be dealt with; now they have finally grabbed your attention. Granted, not everything that is faced can be changed, but certainly nothing can be changed until it's faced.


Talking to a listening Life Coach helps to prevent these issues from having to ball themselves into something huge, just so you will notice and address them. This frees you from ever having to experience the fear, anxiety, the quiet panic of hopelessness or the restrictions of chronic indecision. This is a simple and effective prescription for happiness. So if your friends and loved ones are unable to listen to you, a Life Coach will hear you.


2. Intuition: I can't speak for all Life Coaches on this issue of intuition, so I will only speak for myself. As a highly visual, audient and intuitive person, I pay close attention to what you are saying and how you're saying it, in addition to what you're not saying at all. I will notice your body language, your eye contact, your energy levels, the tone in your voice, your avoidance mechanisms, your use of silence and word selection. I will study you holistically, and often ask you seemingly bizarre questions, but it all helps me get to know who you are; not just who you want to show me.


3. Digging: Then begins the dig. Life Coaching (with me at least) isn't a cosy tea-and-sympathy "poor me" pity party, we need to work hard and get to the root of why you believe you need my help. To get to the roots of anything, requires digging. There's no other way to uproot roots, than by removing the impacted material holding them still and in place. Some big chunks may shake free quickly and easily by the shovelful, but the deeper, threadlike tendrils require patient excavation. Intuitive and responsive Life Coaching will ensure we adapt to your needs in real time, because in Life Coaching, one size mostly certainly does not fit all.


Part of this digging process will include excavating you out of your comfort zone. Now if you need time to appraise and evaluate me before we go there, before we go deeper, that's fine I will wait, but at some point you are going to have to address the underlying issues. Superficial fixes are temporary fixes, so let's go beyond what you're prepared to show me for appearances sake, and get to the root of why you're here. What do you really need? What do you really want? Who are you really?


4. Safe Space: When we are working together, there are no right or wrong answers, there are no right or wrong feelings, there is no failure, only learning. There's no judgement, because you can't be wrong for being you, and you're the only one we have. You may have made mistakes, but so have we all, it doesn't make us bad people. You may have lost your way just right now, but who hasn't (if we're honest with ourselves)? The fact you're actively working to get back on track proves you're a strong and self-aware person, which is a big deal.


Your Life Coaching session will offer you a safe space to just be, to just breathe if that's all you want to do, because you set the agenda. There's no right or wrong way to be you. In fact, part of your journey often includes you realising this for yourself, and achieving higher levels of clarity. In your safe space you will be accepted as the student of life you are, doing the best you can, because that's true for everyone. We all fall down, we all make mistakes, none of us are perfect. You will be safe in your Life Coaching sessions to explore the parts of your life and yourself, you'd rather not be publicly scrutinized, but which need to be addressed.


5. Motivation. Inspiration. Empowerment: Do you know the difference between motivation and inspiration? Motivation, in this context, is the promotion of action, productivity and enhanced performance. Motivation seeks to positively influence and energise, but is generally (although not exclusively) extrinsic and temporary in nature. Zig Ziglar reminds us:


People say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing, which is why we recommend it daily.

We tend to look for motivation from external sources to push us to achieve and thrive, especially when we're challenged. Extrinsic motivators are things like material wealth, status symbols or rewards of any kind. We're motivated to work hard by i.e.: the goal of owning an Aston Martin DB11 soon; well I am! A Life Coach's motivation therefore can be likened to having a fire lit under your backside, insomuch as it'll get you moving.


Inspiration however is like having your soul catch fire, which then fuels and drives you forwards. Inspiration is an internal and intrinsic phenomenon, it manifests itself within you. Inspiration is what drives you to adopt certain behaviours, or to perform particular actions, specifically because you revere those actions and behaviours. Examples of intrinsic inspiration come from anything that makes you happy, achieving your personal goals, remaining true to your core values, or upholding a strong willingness to learn throughout life.


Where a Life Coach can initially get you fired up with extrinsic motivation, it's essential you're able to sustain yourself, which is where inspiration comes in. A Life Coach will help to light a fire within you, which you're able to sustain by your deep love of, or belief in, what you're doing.


Empowerment is simply being shown your own power and autonomy. Too many people are constrained by the thoughts and opinions and others. Too many people have unnecessarily, and unjustifiably, low opinions of themselves. Too many people live under the (metaphorical) boot of others, and I for one want to help you to stand in your own power and divinity. If you're currently worried about what other people think of you, try paying your bills with their opinions and see how powerful they are ... not.


6. Accountability: This is a big one, because there's no real reason to sit with a Life Coach unless you're willing to instigate real change. Sure, I've had my share of people who say they want life coaching, but only to humble brag they have a Life Coach to their friends. I don't have time for such vanity projects. My working life operates around the gravitational pull of my children's needs, so my working hours are finite. This means the number of clients I can see is also finite, which is why I don't have time to stroke your ego. If you're not serious about creating genuine change for yourself, then my time is better spent with those who are.


When we create and agree upon specific, measurable, achievable goals, which are to be accomplished in a realistic and timely manner, you will be held accountable for achieving them, otherwise what's the point? We're back to vanity projects again. As a species we are happiest and most fulfilled when we have a purpose, and a goal is a purpose. When you then add a self-induced deadline to report back to me by, you now have focus too. This is a powerful combination, if you lean into what it's trying to achieve for you.


Worry not, you won't be flogged through the streets of Kettering if your goals are not accomplished, but we will have to investigate why, and why may not be a very comfortable conversation to have. Please remember, there's no growth without challenge, and I'm here to challenge your thinking, to help you grow through what you go through.


Let's look at it this way; if your current thinking has led you to this place in your life, where you are now restless, unhappy and seeking change, then it's your thinking that's going to have to change. Nothing changes if nothing changes, it's that simple. Changing your thinking to change your reality is the first order of business. It's not necessarily easy, as you have many years of conditioning to undo before you can start afresh, but it is possible with your promise to prevail. In my supporting role, holding you accountable for achieving the goals you have set yourself, you can't get away with taking Easy Street at every junction. As time goes on, your accountability to me will morph into responsibility for yourself, and you won't need me any longer.


You will only hold yourself accountable for the goals that others know about, which is why you must tell someone what you're up to. Who do you have to tell? Who do you have to support, motivate, inspire and empower you? If you would like to try life coaching, why not claim your free initial hour-long consultation today? Click here to register your interest.


Why should you start life coaching? Because...

Life coaching is your opportunity to take your life from good to great!

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