So your life is crashing to hell in a hand basket, and you have uber-positive people like me encouraging you to make lemonade with the lemons life is throwing at you. The problem is, these lemons aren't just being thrown at you; they're being rocket launched at your head, with a heat seeking sensor programmed to track the scent of the blood you're sweating!
It would be natural enough for you to think: "Well, that's easy for you to say; you don't have XY and Z to contend with - YOU go and make sodding lemonade, I have my life to rescue!" So when you've plummeted into a hole of some kind, how exactly do you shake it off? How do you use the elements of the experience, turn it to your advantage and into a positive outcome? Obviously each individual case will possess it's own specific elements, which can be turned to an advantage - and I would be happy to explore and exorcise these with you - but for the purposes of this blog, I must keep it broad and generalised. To help convey my advice, I'm going to tell you a story...
Many years ago, a man's favourite donkey fell into a deep sinkhole. The man tried and tried in vain to rescue the donkey, but it just wasn't possible, so he decided to bury it alive - believing it to be the most humane of solutions available to him.
The man started to shovel heaps of earth onto the donkey, but the donkey just shook off each load and adjusted its footing. As more and more soil was thrown onto the donkey, it continued to shake off the dirt and step on the newly thrown in soil. With every shovelful of earth the donkey rose higher and higher in the hole, until eventually it could climb out altogether.
The donkey could have just stood there, doing nothing and accepting its apparent fait accompli. Instead however, the donkey took every shoveful of adversity thrown on it, shook off the negative weight that would eventually have become overwhelming, and used it to secure an optimum outcome. This was all a process though, that had to be played out one painfully slow shoveful at a time. This was not a magic wand waving, wiggle of the nose ta-dah panacea. This rescue process took time, grit, determination and a reserve of resilience deeper than the sinkhole itself.
Take what life throws at you, because the alternative is to run, hide, quit. Is that who you are? Is that who you're prepared to become? You've come this far only to quit now?! Can you really not remember the beginning, your reasons for starting this course in the first place? If this is the case, then you had better have at it and quit - but a life of regret is a ridiculously high price to pay for not giving it everything you've got, and winning. Just because you can't see the win right now, doesn't mean it's unattainable. Please have more faith and confidence in yourself, because you have achieved so much in your life already, and you can absolutely do this now. Can I ask you to think about this for a moment...
Did you know it is physically impossible for for a butterfly to see its own wings? Did you also know that the wings of a butterfly are considered to be one of the most beautiful parts of nature? The butterflies can't see how beautiful they are, but everyone else can.
My work as a mentor has taught me that people can be exactly the same; unable to see their own unique beauty, strengths and gifts to the world, which is why I became a mentor; to activate what's possible.
BIG BALLS / STEEL OVARIES
If however you are the proud owner of big balls or steel ovaries, then you must turn adversity, twist it, bend it and contort it into whatever it can be, to serve you best. Everyone's personal circumstances are different, so I'm unable to be super specific here and now, but please be assured there is always a solution - there is always a way to profit from what's being dumped on you at present. You might not be able to see it now (or your butterfly wings), the positive outcome may require a lot of hard work, resolve and patience, but there is always a way and, if needs be, I can help you look for it
My advice to you would be to take one step at a time and not look too far ahead. After all, how do you eat an elephant? One mouthful at a time. (Aren't I on a zoological safari today?) If you look at the vast magnitude of what's wrong right now, it will look and feel overwhelming to you, demoralising you in the process; so break it down into manageable chunks. What can you do right now to help improve your circumstances? Do that, now. It is imperative to keep a diary (with a disaster recovery, back-up version ideally) so that you may diarise what needs to be done next Thursday. Relieve your mind and memory of unnecessary tension by writing down and diarising future tasks, this frees your mind in the here and now to think on other things, whilst not forgetting, or overlooking, critical future issues.
You are unlikely to manifest an immediate ta-dah resolution, so live in the moment, focus on the now, start from where you are, with what you have and do what you can. Slowly, slowly catchy monkey, but with every step you take, every task or chunk of work you complete, you are closer to that resolution. Success is a process, not an event. Have realistic expectations and be ready to work hard and determinedly, but also give yourself a break and reward yourself regularly for the mini-triumphs you accomplish on the way to your big finish. It's important you treat yourself as well as you would treat your best friend. Would you allow your best friend to work 24/7 without quality rest and respite? Would you drive your best friend to the point of exhaustion and burnout? Then don't be mistreating yourself in these ways either. You must look after yourself during this process; it is a fine balancing act I grant you, but one you must perfect for your own health and well-being.
Listen, I could ramble on and on about this, but this blog article would take on epistle-like proportions. For those of you whose life is fab and groovy, I've written enough for you to get the cut of my jib. For those whose life is heading in a downward trajectory, with a grove of lemons in hot pursuit, then please give me a ring or claim your free initial mentoring consultation, so that I may help you soon. In the meantime however, please ensure you're taking care of you first and foremost.