There is an old fable about a man who, whilst out walking his dog one night, comes across another man who is down on his hands and knees looking for something under a street lamp.
The passer-by asks what the other man is looking for, and is told he is looking for a lost key. The passer-by helps the man search for his key, and after an hour or so of fruitless searching, the passer-by says: "We've looked everywhere and cannot find your key. Are you absolutely certain you lost it here?"
The other man replies: "No, I lost it in my house, but there is more light out here under the street lamp".
The moral to this story is...stop looking outside, when the answers to why you're not living the life you want, enjoying the results you want, can only be obtained from the inside. Now is the time for you to accept 100% responsibility for everything in your life - the good, the great, the bad and the downright ugly.
By accepting 100% responsibility, you will be acknowledging that you - and you alone - create everything that happens to you. You are the cause for everything you experience, and to be super successful, you truly need to understand this. When you realise you have created it all, then you can un-create and re-create at will. You are the master of your destiny: blaming and complaining relegates you to passenger status in your own life!
When you make a mistake or fail, don't waste time and energy chastising yourself. Your time and energy would be better spent scruntinising where and how the error/failure occured, and asking questions like "What did I do - or not do - to create that outcome?", "What was my thinking behind my decisions?", "Could I have worked harder, or smarter?", "What can I learn from this outcome?".
Questions like these are positive and enhancing, because by answering them, you will be working towards the outcome you were seeking in the first place, whilst learning as much about yourself as the failure itself. This equals growth for you. By berating yourself, you are simply running around in a circle, on the spot with your hands over your eyes - getting precisely nowhere, accomplishing nothing.
If any area of your life is not where you want it to be, dedicate some time to sit quietly and ask yourself how and why you have found yourself at this juncture. Then un-create the elements you're dissatisfied with, and re-create them into what you want them to be. You have this power and authority over your own life, you just need to realise this and use it.